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Prehistoric Toy Store

Scan from Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
Volume 1, Issue #2
Valiant Comics
(1993)

Re-visiting the Turok Dinosaur Hunter Comic collected last year.

[Previous Post: Treasures From The Jurassic Era...]


I try to roll with the seasons.

Definitely looking forward to huge summer junk sales, cautiously optimistic that I might cross paths with some treasure.

Critically Acclaimed

Apparently there were 53 issues of Turok published.

From the Amazon description:

"Turok forms an unseasy alliance with a drug lord."

What's not to like about a book that features guns, whiskey and drug lords?

Dino... Droppings?

Picked up my own copy from a guy who had dozens of them for $1.
Presumably, the monetary value is quite low - But the entertainment value was surprisingly high.

Being recognized often seems to just cause more problems...
Can definitely relate to Turok venturing into civilization.

Scan from Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
Volume 1, Issue #2
Valiant Comics
(1993)

Twilight Delight...

A Short Stack of Cheesecake

Impish little Midna is a mysterious character who helps (and taunts) Link in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

She has her own agenda, but even though she starts to feel like an ally, you have no idea who or what she is...

Despite her bossy nature, she's a cute little thing. She often gets on your nerves (although she's nowhere near as annoying as Navi the fairy from Ocarina of Time).






Trolling the internet from some memorable quotes on the subject...

"Midna is a character in the game The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, released on November 19th, 2006, for the Nintendo Wii.

A mysterious, imp-like creature that accompanies Link throughout the game... She proved to be very popular among fans, sparking multiple fan art iterations.

She is often credited with planting the seeds of the fetish for shortstacks in the minds of many people, as said in the meme by Funnyjunk user heroedelavida, posted on April 6th, 2021"

-knowyourmemes.com

"Aside from obligatory coverings to keep her decent, she's not wearing a whole lot of clothing...
There are multiple gratuitous butt shots in the cutscene where you first meet her alone"

-PaperSplash



"...if Nakano didn't want people to thirst over Midna, he wouldn't give her hips are wider than her shoulders"

-BlueVanLock



Yusuke Nakano is a long-time illustrator at Nintendo, mostly known for his work in the art of The Legend of Zelda series. He has worked for the company since 1992. He creates the artwork for many Nintendo published video games, or at least helps supervise the creation of art.
-Nintendo | Fandom



"I mean, the camera gets pretty focused on her and the way she rubs up against Link."
-Lizuka



"Actually, Midna does make a high-pitched, slightly suggestive squeal/yelp when you dash."
-HyrulianGod



"I press the dash button as wolf link to hear Midna yelp."
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2067447-shortstack"

While I doubt the merchandise is authentic, also stumbled upon this intriguing cosplay bodysuit.



In conclusion, anyone who finds it erotic to watch a scantly clad female prancing about obviously knows how to put the Internet to good use. When regular women eventually get replaced by AI females, we'll look back on moments like this as turning points...

SMB2: Hittin' Up The Slots...

Mario Develops a Serious Gambling Addiction!

A memorable part of Super Mario Bros. 2 is the slot machine aka. "Bonus Chance".

The minigame appears between levels, allowing the player to win Extra Lives.

A collection of notes & screenshots transformed into a relatively deep dive of this Super Mario Bros. 2 minigame, with a separate page for each version of the game:

SMB2: Bonus Chance (Original NES)
SMB2: Bonus Chance (SNES All-Star)


There are slight variations between the original (1988) and Super Mario All-Stars (1993) versions.

Slot icons are also livened up in Super Mario All-Stars (making Mario feel like he's in Vegas).
Prizes are also more generous in the updated version.



Risking life and limb - For a chance at a few extra lives!

Carry the Magic Potion to places where tufts of grass can be found.
Pull the grass to get rewarded with tokens to play the minigame.
Hit the terminal with a fistfull of coins to better your odds of making out like a bandit.


Each coin gathered during the level is worth a pull at the machine.
With some luck, several coins can net you a few lives.


Hit up the machine with a pile of change and walk away with more lives than a cat.


Surprisingly fun and addictive. As you memorize the locations to gather potential coins, learn better timing and memorize the prizes, the odds can only shift in your favor.

It's a combination of skill and luck, but it still helps to know the stakes.

Full Pages:

SMB2: Bonus Chance (Original NES)
SMB2: Bonus Chance (SNES All-Star)

Two Much Fun...

Refusing to Get a Life

SMB2 (All-Stars Version)

Attempting another playthu of oldschool classic Super Mario Bros. 2.
(A feat I haven't accomplished since the 1990s)

SMB2 (NES)

Bouncing back and forth between the original SMB2 (1988) and the Super Mario All-Stars version (1993).

The original game offered just 2 lives to start.

SMB2 (All-Stars Version)

Of course the Super Mario All-Stars version is more forgiving to make it more fun.
Five lives to start the game with, plus the ability to select a new character if you die.
Each level can become a bit of a team effort as each character utilizes their strengths.













Had a decent run on the slot machine...
Those extra lives quickly depleted by a fortress maze full of "Sparks".

Still, managed to push further into this game than I have in decades.
Certainly don't remember the game being this challenging - Or maybe I was just a hell of a lot more patient.

SMB2 is a tad different than its' Mario brethren...
Gotta re-train a few compulsive Mario habits.

Can no longer squash enemies as if they were Goombas - Instead, it's best to throw vegetables at them (or throw baddies at each other).






Looking back at the game now, elements like climbing the side-by-side length of chains has a Donkey Kong Junior feel...















Other parts of Super Mario Bros. 2 may even feel like precursors to Donkey Kong Country...

Girl On Top!

Her Favorite Position...

Joanna Dark maintains her death grip on the top spot, absolutely dominating the Star Charts for the second month in a row.

Seems the Perfect Dark pages restored last winter are being put to good use. Players still continue to look up a game that's 25 years old (some of them possibly even younger than the game itself?).

That random sack of GoldenEye mail caused much amusement...
(As does the quest for Invincibility and desire for god-like powers)

STAR CHARTS " Joanna Gives The Boys a Good Thrashing! " Game System Released 1 Perfect Dark N64 2000 2 Super Mario Bros. 3 NES 1990 3 GoldenEye 007 N64 1997 4 Super Mario Bros. NES 1985 5 Donkey Kong Country 2 SNES 1995 Oldschool Super Mario also makes a comeback on the Charts, and he's just happy to be at the party. Ever-popular James Bond might be feeling a bit snubbed, hanging out at the bar and knocking back another Vodka Martini.